Confession of a Grateful Father

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”
Proverbs 22:6

If you have followed this blog for a while then you know that the previous writing entries have focused on biblical passages in a chronological fashion. To date, I have not utilized personal experiences in my posts because I feel that the rich tapestry of information captured in Scripture provides more than enough introspective material to study. But this week I am going to deviate from my established pattern of incorporating Bible-centric stories only in a sequential fashion and relay a private episode to communicate a greater thought. The reason for my momentary modus operandi change is based on the fact that I encountered a life changing event (or L.C.E. as my wife, Dawn, and I call them at home) last week. My third, and presumably last, child, Elizabeth (Ellie) Grace Orr, was born on June 13, 2013 (Ellie and her proud daddy – me – are shown in the picture above). 

With the birth of each of my three children I have been profoundly moved by the abundant blessing and provision of God. The overall process from conception to delivery is nothing short of amazing. And while I could exhaust hours elaborating on the many impressions that have poured over me during, and after, the beautiful arrival of all of my offspring I want to corral the emphasis of this post to the inherent marvel of being a parent, which I was powerfully reminded of when I met a 7 pound hand-crafted by God darling daughter (Ellie) face to face a few short days ago.

The moment Ellie exited Dawn’s body and became wholly visible I got choked up. Earlier in the day, I had spent several minutes in prayer and meditation, and had asked the Lord to help me cherish everything about Ellie’s birth. Given that Ellie’s due date was June 19, 2013 I did not expect that the day I was moved to call out to God for supernatural sensitivity and emotional responsiveness to Ellie’s birth would be the day that my eyes would first encounter her. But God, in His indescribable, unfathomable wisdom, knew what I needed to consider before I did. And so with a heightened perception that Ellie’s appearance was something I needed to mentally catalog and treasure I took in the event with excitement and thankfulness. 

As the doctor held Ellie in her arms I was infused with gratitude, as well as a realization that the Lord was quietly imparting a critical mission to me. And the mission was communicated via a spiritual, unspoken message. The message went something like this: “Kevin, Ellie is yet another confirmation of My immense love. A manifestation of My goodness.  Bona fide proof of My commitment to honor the charge I gave to Adam and Eve so long ago: to be fruitful and multiply. But understand that Ellie is a gift that I have briefly entrusted to you and Dawn. She is My creation, and I have placed her in your care. Ellie requires your devotion and dedication. She requires God-centered direction and doctrine. Resolve yourself to obey My Word and pledge to exhibit the righteous character you long to see Ellie display someday. Above all, never take your parental role for granted for it is a privilege that I have bestowed upon you.”

As I stood there captivated at the sight of baby Ellie God stirred my soul. And the Lord impressed upon my heart the fundamental difference between being a father and being a parent, at least from the world’s vantage point. This may sound like a subtle nuance but a chasm exists between fatherhood and parenthood in the modern-day culture. To many, a father is merely a biological donor. After a would-be father provides his life-giving specimen to someone from the opposite sex he may, and in many cases does, willfully walk away from his partner’s life, and thereby the life of his child. Sadly, there are tragic examples of this phenomenon occurring each and every day, which are grossly played out on television via reality talk shows. But when you consider the connotation of the word “parent” it tends to provoke a completely separate consideration from father in the societal vernacular. A parent is one who seeks to have an active role in his, or her, children’s upbringing. A parent wants to be invested emotionally, financially, and spiritually in the ones he, or she, helped bring forth into this earth. A parent is committed to intentionally, purposefully leading, and guiding, his, or her, progeny in truth and values.  

Beholding the preciousness of baby Ellie I contemplated the three primary ways that I can positively influence my children: through example, education, and encouragement. And God convicted me to utilize and balance every aspect in a righteous manner in Ellie’s life, as well as the life of my other two children (Jayden and Abby). Regarding example, I should be honorable, not hypocritical. I should be authentic, not artificial. In other words, I must be transparent and wholly devoted to the Lord. It is one thing to speak of God-centered living, but it is ultra-critical that I practice God-centered living for the sake of my family. Regarding education, I should be tenderhearted, not tyrannical. I should be a disciplinarian, not a dictator. In other words, teaching morality to my children is only effective when I couple it with a genuine relationship based on honesty, humility, and honor. It does my children no good if I speak truth through a dualistic, double-minded lifestyle. My children should see the proof of my beliefs in my behavior, as well as hear them through my instruction. Regarding encouragement, I should be a cheerleader, not a critic. I should be an advocate, not an antagonist. In other words, I cannot hope to build up my children’s theology if I am tearing them down internally. My words should be corrective at times, but compassionate at all times. How can I expect a home environment of joy if I fill the air with unkind, mean-spirited rhetoric? 

So this is the confession of a grateful father, scratch that – the confession of a grateful parent. What a glorious opportunity I have been granted: to train children in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6). Many in the world either minimize this obligation, or altogether miss its importance. But as I beheld Ellie for the first time this responsibility was not lost on me. I want the best for Ellie, but that end state requires the best from me - as a father…as a husband….as a man of God. This life is filled with many blessings, but few are greater, or sweeter, than parenting.